Finally Free
by Candymouse22
Summary: All she had to do was get her to take her place and she could be free from this cycle of death. The past and present of the Handmaid's life, as well as her afterlife. TW: Mentioned abuse and suicide attempts.


As the you approached the Imperial Battle ship, you feel your heart race. _Why are you nervous?! Once you get the fish-bitch to take your place, you can finally leave this hell!_ In your long life, you can't recall ever being truly happy, only sadness and anger, so much _anger_. Well, perhaps there _was_ a time...

 _You were young, how young you do not know, as you grew up on a green moon with no other trolls, or girls for the matter. You were in your room, drawing a picture. You had been working on it for quite some time. It was a picture of you and Doc Scratch, who at the time you called 'father'._ (The thought of ever calling that _sick, **heartless, cold-blooded bastard **_father makes you want you puke.) _You were putting the finishing touches to it when he came in. "And what is that you're drawing, Damara?" "It's a picture of me and you Father!" He ruffled your hair and with a chuckle said, "Very lovely, my dear." You thought that if your guardian had a mouth, he would be smiling._

Oh how innocent and naive you had been then. That manipulative fucker had you fooled. As you grew older, you started to see through his facade and saw him as the cold, cruel bastard he was. When you were around twelve sweeps, Scratch began to teach you clockwork majykks, saying it would be useful when you were older. To say it was hard to learn was an understatement. If you screwed up too much, Scratch would punish you, whether it was no food for the rest of the day, hit you with the broom, or god knows what else. In other words, you learned how to master clockwork majykks quickly. _" **Don't be a waste of my time** **."**_

It was also around this time that he told you about why learning the near hell impossible spells were so important for your future and how when you were older, you would be given to a new master: _English._ He would make you cause chaos and destruction on Alternia. You would rather die than be yet another prick's 'servant' so as soon as you could, you tried to kill yourself. He came into your room before you could. You were punished. As usual. That didn't stop you from attempting suicide several more times. **_"I know you're a worthless brat, but you have a part to play."_**

You became cold, angry, unforgiving. After after, being nice wouldn't earn your freedom, would it? Eventually when you were fully grown and had earned your title, The Handmaid, that impending day had finally come. You were given to Lord English, who as Scratch once said, was _"a far less gracious host than I."_ Although Scratch was not gracious in the the slightest, he was nowhere near as bad as his boss. Where Scratch had mostly just said cruel things and hit you with a broom, English was more physically abusive. For example, after he had made you immortal, he decided to have some fun with it.

 _"HEY GIRL! YOU STILL ALIVE?!" You didn't move. Maybe if he thought you were dead he would leave you alone. "FIN!" "Yes Sir?" "IS SHE DEAD?!" For a few minutes, there was silence. 'Thank god; English is so damn loud!' Maybe you can sleep and- "She isn't dead Sir, just unconscious." How the **fuck**_ _did he know that?! He didn't even check for a pulse! You felt yourself begin to sweat. A loud bang made you jump to weak knees. You looked up to see your new master seething with rage. He looked so irate you thought his eyes would pop out of his skull. 'Maybe if that happens one of them will hit and kill me.' "YOU THOUGHT YOU COULD FUCKING MANIPULATE ME YOU BITCH?!" English roared You gulped. "N-no, Master, I-" Before you finished your sentence you were slapped across the face, English's claw slicing your cheek. "DID I SAY YOU COULD SPEAK?!" You shook your head while clutching your bleeding check, bitting back a whimper. This was way fucking worse than living with Scratch and you hadn't even been there for a full day! "_ _EXACTLY! I THINK YOU NEED TO LEARN WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU DISOBEY ME YOU FUCKING BITCH!" He beat you into a pulp and as you lied in a pool of your blood, you silently begged to any gods that might have been listening to take you out of this world before blacking out._

You shudder at that memory. "All the more reason to do this," You say to yourself, now on the deck of the hulking red battleship. A chill runs down your back. You sense someone has died. You close your eyes and see a Helmsman, dead at his post with gold blood dripping out of his goggles and mouth. This isn't any Helmsman, though, it's _the_ Helmsman. Your cold heart pitties him; he too had been cursed with not being able to die, living pergrees above his blood caste. Just as you open your eyes, Her Imperial Condescension storms onto the deck, trition in hand and eyes gleaming. _This is it._

"Whale, whale, it's The Handmaid!" She sneers. You tighten your grip on your needles, glaring at the fuscia blood with distain. The Condesce looks at you expectedly. You do nothing, bewildered. Finally, she breaks the silence. "Yo beach, this is where you bow, so BOW!" She demands. "Bow?" You repeat, your voice as sharp as ice, "Why should I bow to _you_? You are no empress, not anymore," This strikes a nerve, as the fuschia-blood gritts her sharp teeth, but you continue, " You have no planet, no subjects, _nothing_." Her face is fuschia with anger now. Without a second's hesitation, you both attack each other.

The sounds of blasts, metal, and occassional grunts are all that can be heard while you fight. You narrowly dodge the Condesce's triton as she throws it your way. Using all the energy you have left, you knock the Condesce down with a powerful blast of majykks. She doesn't get up. You take this as a chance to catch your breath. You hear a loud _whoosh_ as you turn arround, eyes wide. The Condesce is on her feet and her triton is sailing towards you. You freeze. M _y suffering is finally coming to an end._

As tears fall down your face, it's not because you are lying on the ground with a triton in your abdomen (actually, that's part of the reason), but out of happiness. You are finally _free_. No more hollowness and sadness. Your vision is blury from blood loss, but you are still able to makeout the Condesce looming over you. You feel a sharp pain as the triton is swiftly pulled out of your body, and before the Empress can stab you again, your eyes close.

When you open your eyes again, you are confused. You know that you are dead, but where the hell are you? Looking around, you can see your old room from when you lived with Scratch, as while as other previous belongings. _What is this place?_ "Hi there!" "Fuck!" Alarmed, you jump at the sound of the unfamiliar voice. You turn around to see a young troll behind you that almost looks like a copy you when you were six sweeps. She has the same curved horns as you, unruly wavy hair, and burgendy lips. She's thicker than you were (though to be fair, you were always a lit too thin), and wears strange red garments with a clock gear in the center of her tunic. The strange young troll also has wings. _Is she a mutant?_

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you!" She apologizes. "Who are you?" You ask, suspicious. The troll respondswithout a beat, "I'm Aradia Megido, Maid of Time! I am also your descendent." The last part shocks you. You have been about for _many_ sweeps, how could you have a descendent?! Aradia sees the bewildered look on your face. "Well, technically you are younger than me because you were hatched long after I died." "You are dead?" The troll in front of you _looks_ alive, but looks are deceiving. "Not anymore!" Aradia replies cheerily. She's too happy in your oppinion.

"What do you mean you were dead but now you're not? That makes no sense." "It's a long story," Your descendent simply says, motioning for you to sit down. You do and she tells you that once she had be a normal burgendy blood on Alternia with a passion for archaeology and role-play. Everything had changed when Aradia's role-playing partner had been paralized after one of their rivials had made him jump off a cliff. She felt guilty and aganist her friend's warnings, sent the dead to haunt Vriska. She was angry and mind-controled Aradia's matesprit, a mustard-blood named Sollux, to kill her. Once she died, she became cold and emotionless, much like you. Aradia later became a robot and killed Vriska, wanting to _make her pay_. She exploded not long after that, only to be revived as a god tier. It was then, Aradia said, that for the first time in her life, she _truly_ felt alive.

You proceed in telling her your life story. When you finish, she stares at you with wide eyes. Then, Aradia does something unexpected: she hugs you. You briefly stiffen, but return the favor. _I haven't gotten a hug in a long time._ Your cheeks are warm from the tears, but you're okay. Better than that actually.

Your name is Damara and right now you are content.

* * *

 **I finally finished this! I had been writing this for quite some time, but either lost interest, was busy, or had writters block. Sorry that the fighting scene was kind of crappy and that the endding was rushed, I didn't want to wait any longer to post this! I hope you enjoyed reading this!  
-Candymouse22**


End file.
